The 5 year old son of my nephew (yes, that would be my
great-nephew) lost his first tooth a couple of weeks ago. He was eating an apple-for the express purpose of
facilitating the expulsion of his loose tooth. All that his parents found was a spot of
blood on the apple–the tooth was never seen again!
When Nachshon (I have changed the name to protect his
innocence) realized what at that time seemed like a tragedy, he said with a
prayerful voice, “I really hope the tooth fairy will still visit-even if I
swallowed my tooth. I know I wasn’t
supposed to swallow the tooth. And now I
can’t leave it for the tooth fairy because it was somewhere in my belly. Maybe she will be angry and she won’t pay
attention to how much, in my heart, I want her to come.”
Nachshon’s question riddled the best minds of our family
all over the world (including me, here in the Holy land). Would the tooth fairy come even though he
swallowed his tooth?
Nachshon’s mommy was pretty sure the tooth fairy would
come. She assured him that no harm would
come to him from accidentally swallowing his tooth. “It will just come out when you go to the
bathroom”, Mommy offered. “I sure hope it doesn’t come out of my penis!”
Nachshon replied! (There’s no moss
growing on that kid, right?)
My great nephew’s question and his intense and very
natural desire for the tooth fairy to come, felt similar to what is often the
reality of my prayer life. What if I don’t
do it right? And what if I’m so focused
on doing it “right” that I can’t control my mind and my heart to focus on my
relationship with God? If I don’t pray
the right way, at the right time, following the keva of our written prayer
service, will God still hear my prayers-let alone answer them?
The image of what happened to two of Aaron’s sons, Nadav
and Avihu, is hard to get out of my mind.
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א וַיִּקְחוּ בְנֵי-אַהֲרֹן נָדָב וַאֲבִיהוּא אִישׁ מַחְתָּתוֹ,
וַיִּתְּנוּ בָהֵן אֵשׁ, וַיָּשִׂימוּ עָלֶיהָ, קְטֹרֶת; וַיַּקְרִיבוּ לִפְנֵי
יְהוָה, אֵשׁ זָרָה--אֲשֶׁר לֹא צִוָּה, אֹתָם.
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1 And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of
Aaron, took each of them his censer, and put fire therein, and laid incense
thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which He had not commanded
them.
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2 And there came forth fire from
before the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD.
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Or what if, like Nachshon, I prayed (only) according to
my own needs, why would God listen to me?
My teacher Bonna Devora Haberman called my attention to that same
question with regard to Moshe when he is pleading with God to let him actually
go into Canaan in Deut. 3:23.
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כג וָאֶתְחַנַּן, אֶל-יְהוָה, בָּעֵת הַהִוא, לֵאמֹר.
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23 And I besought the LORD at that
time, saying:
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24 'O Lord GOD, you have begun to show your
servant your greatness, and your strong hand; for what god is there in heaven
or on earth, that can do according to your works, and according to your
mighty acts?
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25 Let me go over, I pray to you, and
see the good land that is beyond the Jordan, that goodly hill-country, and
Lebanon.'
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In
Bonna’s (reassuring) words, prayer is relational. “If we feel the need to pray, there is an
implicit other [who will listen]-in Buber’s words, a ‘Thou’”. If we are intentional with our prayer, if we
direct it (to God) the Divine heart will be inclined toward us. Words that come from the heart, enter the
heart-( indirectly derived from Berachot 6b)
Our
prayer reflects the way we see ourselves at a particular moment in our lives-what
we need; what we are grateful for; what we are angry about or what we fear. The insights about ourselves that we gain in
the process of prayer, reflect the ongoing process of our living. So,
our prayer, is simultaneously directed at God (God who will incline God’s
listening heart) and also gives us insight into our own hearts.
Nachshon
wanted the tooth fairy to incline her heart toward him. He decided to write her a letter explaining
the situation (complete with illustration which I will not reproduce
here.) “Dear Tooth Fairy, I think my
tooth fell into my belly”. Sure enough, it worked! The Tooth Fairy came!
She wrote a note of her own to Nachshon
(in tiny writing, because tooth fairies are tiny), grabbed something to drink, went to the
bathroom before her long flight back, and sprinkled fairy dust in various places.
(She sort of made a mess). She also left
Nachshon a toothbrush, some floss, and a $2 bill.
One of my theories about
prayer is that small children come by it naturally-until we, the adults in
their lives, knock that natural tendency out of them! Maybe Nachshon’s tooth fairy story is
evidence of some truth in that theory.
I’ll
be reflecting more on the nature of prayer.
Stay tuned.
