My relationship with Halacha feels confusing, disconcerting to me. In some ways the more I study it, the more is seems logical and even wise, demonstrating a great understanding of human nature-then and now. In other ways, it feels demeaning, completely irrelevant and bordering on absurdity. The lynchpin of those conflicting thoughts is that on an intellectual level I (sometimes) feel like I have no business being a rabbi. On a practical and emotional level, on the other hand, I have had very many experiences that confirm for me, my ability to blend the Halacha with my knowledge and understanding of (many of) the longings and needs of contemporary Jewry (especially in the States). For me personally, as a teacher and model, this blending of halacha with a deep understanding of what contemporary Jews are looking for, works as an effective tool! (A discussion of what “works” means is also interesting and not unrelated to the subject, but for another time.)
One day in November (2014) at the Conservative Yeshiva in
Jerusalem where I am studying, we had a שיעור כללי , a teaching/lesson for the entire
community, learning together. My chevruta
(study partner) was a Nativ [1]
student, a young woman who grew up in a Modern Orthodox family in
Baltimore. She is one of 8 children. Theirs is a close knit family. Their Jewish practice and Jewish values are
the basis of their family life. Both of
her parents work and did so for all of her time at home. The children took care
of most of the cooking, preparation for Shabbat and holidays. All the children were home schooled until
they went to a Jewish High school. This
young woman speaks quietly and with humility of her Jewish practice-as a way of
life, a way of being, as responsible for who she is, in large part as a result of
the memories she has from her childhood and as a young adult.
We were studying Hilchot Yom Tov, the laws of our
festivals. Our text was Rambam’s (Maimonides’)
Mishna Torah. Chapter 1 Halacha (law) 16:
“We have explained the obligation implied by honor and delight in [the Sabbath]
in Hilchot Shabbat. “ Halacha 17, Deut.
16:14 “You shall rejoice in your festivals….Included in [this charge to]
rejoice is that he, his children, and the members of his household should
rejoice, each one in a manner appropriate to him.” We shared memories with each discussion of
what we had read-what she remembered from her family’s observance; memories
that I tried to create with my husband, for our children. Without Jewish memory, it is not possible to
have a Jewish identity. Neither her
memories nor mine were consciously based in Halacha and yet we were surprised
to discover that in her family of origin and in the family which me and my
husband created together, our practices were a direct reflection of the Halacha
we were now learning. Although her father in particular had a strong background
in Jewish learning, neither family’s practices was consciously based in
Halacha. For both of us, Shabbat was a time centered around family. We both had the custom of inviting a few
guests for Shabbat but nothing compared to the numbers we invited for a virtual
open house on the chaggim- especially folks who had no place else to go and
maybe not enough money to “eat meat and drink wine”. Halacha 18: “When a person eats and drinks
[in celebration of a holiday] he is obligated to feed strangers, orphans,
widows, and others who are [may be]…poor”.
Upon reflection of this text last week, it seemed to us, that those
behaviors came instinctively.
We wondered: Are
halachot d’oraita (written in Torah) or d’rabbanan (created by the Rabbis as a
result of their incredible insight into and understanding of human nature? Are they (simply) an expression of “natural
instincts” of thoughtful people who live spiritually oriented and religiously
observant lives? Was it instinctive for
her family and for us, to include social justice/social solidarity in our
holiday observance? And to reserve Shabbat for immediate family? We certainly didn’t connect our observance
with the laws of sacrifices when the Temple existed. We were not aware that those sacrifices were
integral to the relationship between the Jews of the Bible and God. Nor did we associate what we were doing with
the brilliant creation of a Judaism that would replace the sacrificial system
after the Temple was destroyed and sacrifices were no longer possible. We didn’t know that there was a commandment
to rejoice. Nor was our
celebration/observance of Shabbat and holidays a conscious manifestation of our
service to “the creator of all existence” (Halacha 20) And
having read these laws/commandments last week, we had new questions: what does it mean to obligate a person to
“rejoice in your festivals”? Can
rejoicing be commanded any more than “to love” can be commanded (v’ahavata)? On the other hand, it felt to us like many
of these mitzvot came naturally; it did not feel imposed.
My young friend grew up steeped in Jewish practice. As she got older she began to formally learn
Halacha, ritual, theology, tanach and more.
She lived Judaism, so that when she began to learn it, it was easy to
embrace. It was a reflection of her
family life, her life; it made her proud and filled her with love of herself,
her family, her religion and her God. I,
on the other hand, grew up with very little observance. When I began to learn Jewish
law it didn’t “fit me well”. It was
foreign. It felt like an
imposition. And yet, there is another
remarkable “coincidence” for me that came from the formal learning of Halacha
combined with reflecting on the practice I’ve (naturally and also with
considerable thought) developed. The way
I live, the way I teach, speak about and model/mentor my version of Jewish
practice, points me to the intellectual and emotional conclusion that Halacha
is in many ways, a natural outgrowth of the Rabbis understanding of human
nature. They knew, for example, that we
would need help curbing our “evil inclination” in the multitude of ways it
manifests itself. What they probably
were not aware of is a contemporary phenomenon.
It seems to me that learning and observing (at least some of) the
mitzvot/commandments, can help us consciously feel like we are partnering with
God to make the world a more just, safe, happy and fulfilling place for all of
God’s creations- and with that recognition comes pride in being Jewish. Those goals, of partnering with God and
helping Jews be proud of being Jewish, are essential to my humanity as well as
to my Rabbinate (with God’s help, some day!)
I imagine the former to be on the agenda of many human beings. As trite as it sounds, time and time again, Judaism,
Jewish practice itself provides me with a roadmap/GPS toward those destinations.
I know that part of the purpose for my
being on this earth is to help us orient ourselves toward Judaism in the
direction of a fulfilling, meaningful, God centered life. Judaism is bookmarked in my list of favorite
destinations in my GPS. May we all be blessed
with the ability to be open to see and find nourishment in the multitude of “alternate
routes” toward Judaism that we will find when we type it into our GPS.
